Being Zen
Zen Healing Retreat
Zen Healing Retreat
30th January 2022
Dearest One
The retreat enters is last third and this is a time of Integration.
Continuing with the structure of meditation, prayer, study, reading, writing and walking whilst also allowing some time for engaging with the world.
The idea being the `retreat` time does not really end it blends with
ordinary life blessing the retreatant with a rather magical,
Divinely inspired world and life.
Slow, peaceful, calm and centered.
I hope you like the snowdrops and aconites, simple yet full of hope, the return of spring, flashes of colour in the monochromatic world of January in Pluscarden Abbey in Scotland.
May your day be blessed with peace and inspiring beauty
Zen Healing Retreat
Zen Healing Retreat
22nd January 2022
Dearest One
Oh, nothing here...wonder what happened yesterday then?
A day of silence and stillness - well, that was what i needed as the day was spent tidying, clearing, cleaning and sorting in preparation for William.
I wonder how many other people are like me and only `blitz` the house when someone is coming?
Covid has not been conducive to domesticity for some of us!,
Maybe now its time for peace and quiet..
Enjoy
Zen Healing Retreat
Zen Healing Retreat
20th January 2022
Dearest One
Cloud gazing again, fascinating.
The spiritual journey, transpersonal development even the dive into the consciousness of the cosmos brings up waaay too much to get my wee human brain around. Maybe this is why simplicity speaks to me. keeping it simple allows me to not need to understand what my brain has not the bandwidth for.
I am so enjoying the Zen approach, simple, focussed, gentle and slow so no matter what I read think or do it is within these parameters.
Over the festive period I indulged in caffeine on a few occasions.
I thought nothing more of it as it was such a `little` thing, a cheeky festive `treat` from the purity of the retreat. Yet, as always, in hindsight
I see they were the days that it was more of a challenge to go for walks, to eat healthily, to meditate, to stay focused on a book.
On the odd days I would succumbed were the days it was, often, compounded by `extra` little treats to cheer myself up resulting in more negative thinking which seemed to accrue, my ego on steroids and ohhh
self loathing, blame and judgment for being so weak.
Who needs enemies?!
Get thee behind me satan!
Something so small as a drink that disrupts inner equilibrium yet can lead to havoc reminds me of a poem.
"For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail"
Anon
Amazing power inherent in everything no matter how ,seemingly, small.
Zen Healing Retreat
Zen Healing Retreat
17th January 2022
Dearest One
Amazing sky this morning, red, dark red, as William said,
like the entrance to Hades!
( How does he know?)
Gorgeous day and a lovely walk, going slower and not competing with myself has its advantages, not only do I see more of nature so can take pictures to share here, but have added foraging to the walk.
I had not noticed before how many trees branches and twigs have been blown down in the storms, kindling!
So came back with a wee branch covered in many twigs to break up, dry and use to start the fire.
A good feeling being actively involved with nature, a part of the growth recycle and death circle of life. Rather than buying ready chopped kindling I gathered my own... never walk without an empty bag... just in case.
Simple and free.
Being Zen
Zen Healing Retreat
Zen Healing Retreat
16th January 2022
Dearest One
A gentle sky with gentle clouds today.
I have been sitting with the idea that every thought is a prayer -
not only does that remind me to be careful what I think or wish for,
but also wow, how powerful is that!
I took this idea to pray continuously consciously into my morning walk.
Using a prayer I adapted from the Course in Miracles:
May .......... be Blessed
May she/he feel loved
May she/he be at peace.
Each time a person crossed my mind I said this prayer for them. I began to apply it to trees, plants and all my eyes rested on
May this tree be Blessed,
May this tree feel loved
May this tree be at peace.
Which is, of course, also a derivative of the Buddhist blessings for all sentient beings individualised to what I was consciously seeing at the time.
May you have a Blessed day
May you feel loved
May you be at peace.
Zen Healing Retreat
Zen Healing Retreat
13th January 2022
Dearest One
The weather is so bleak I took a photo indoors, this singing bowl has
the most marvelous resonance.
Thank you for that conversation we had on the limitations of labels yet the need for the structure they offer as we `get the hang of things`. When is a label a statement of fact and when is it perjorative? For example, to say someone is on the `Autistic Spectrum` is a fact - for me we are all on the spectrum somewhere - however to say Autistic Spectrum Disorder has created a whole other narrative with negative judgmental connotations.
Unhelpful, unkind and unloving.
Yes, my judgment !
It seems we eschew some labels, gender, size, race, intellect etc and welcome others. Are we just limiting ourselves even more by reducing the `size ` of the label to a sub label?
The label we use for ourselves indicates where our focus lies, how we perceive ourselves and how we want others to see us and thus limiting not only who we are but also room for change, growth, transformation as we age based on the memories other have of us and keep reducing us into as it serves their perception of who they are in relation to others.
Set fire to your self imposed labels, free yourself
Viva le liberation!
If I need a label I would prefer it to be my name.
Better still, a child of God.
Zen Healing Retreat
Zen Healing Retreat
12th January 2022
Dearest One
I know, a similar picture, but it would appear I went slightly mad taking pictures on Monday, it was stunningly beautiful with the clear blue sky, the sun and all the snow. I have been trying to catch a skein of geese or a couple of swans flying overhead as they seem to be on the move but they are either too high or gone before I can prime the phone camera,
but that is the aim.
No pictures yesterday as I `had lost God`. It was a weird feeling, a knowing in my head of the existence of God, but no experience of the
Presence of God.
So no walk, no photos, no reading ( of any spiritual texts) no writing.
A friend, Sue, dropped some post off for me and when I told her I had Lost God, she cheerfully replied, It`s OK God hasn`t lost you.
Weirdly enough that was all it took for the grey clouds of obscurity to part and the sun to, once again, shine brightly.
It was a strange feeling to feel disconnected from the God of my awareness
but a good reminder of how different life is, for me, with my God
in my life and how tangible the experience is.
The `lost` time also highlighted the Course in Miracles as the lesson
that day was "My thoughts do not mean anything".
Perhaps it was this that allowed me to feel I had `lost` God`
yet not be upset by it.
It also offered an insight to life with no conscious relationship with a sense of the Divine. Whilst I was not upset there was an emptiness,
a sense of what is the point that rendered living a futile prospect.
It was with great joy I awoke today and the mantra I took into meditation is
"I am Love
Here to give Love"
As simple and Zen as that - That is the size of intention I can
honour, work with and remember.
Have a love-ly day
xx
Zen Healing Retreat
Zen Healing Retreat
10th January 2022
Dearest One
What a sky last night, even managed to catch the half moon on the camera...I am so blessed by nature.
The Course in Miracles lesson today is "My thoughts do not mean anything"
Which turned into `only thoughts of love are true` in meditation.
As only love is real then logically anything else is false.
How many decisions have been made when false thoughts are predominant is too scary a prospect to even consider.
I joke with a friend that we shop `unconsciously` as so often when home and decanting the food items into cupboards or the fridge there are `goodies` with no recollection of adding them to the trolley, loading them onto the conveyor belt at the till, packing them into bags - no memory at all -
until its way to late to return them !
It reminds me of driving up the A9 and suddenly `coming to` as it were and wondering where I am. How much food had been bought and how many miles had been driven whilst I was on autopilot, unconscious.
In fact how much of my life is passing me by ?
Where are my thoughts, what had I lost myself in?
How much of my life have I been present to ??
Today I open to being fully present.
Wish me luck
Zen Healing Retreat
Zen Healing Retreat
8th January 2022
Dear Friend
There is so little to say and also so much to write about.
It really is the macrocosm of the microcosm, or is it the other way round?
I may have stepped out of engaging with the `world`, but have stepped more deeply within and funnily enough, my ego seems to find just as many paths to sabotage me within as outwith!
The weather has warmed up so now there is a layer of slush topping the frozen ice below; lethal and requires tottering steps of precaution
as striding out is dangerous.
Not, in itself, a fascinating topic of conversation except how it focusses the mind. My attention is on each and every step which means i was fully present to my walk this morning. I observed this as recently I attended an on-line memorial for one of the greats in Homoeopathy, for me the Greatest as he embodied wholism in every dimension. Not just in his knowledge, his understanding, his teaching, his writing but also, and for me the most important aspect, his way with people. He truly saw, heard and held them. He saw their inner divinity beyond the mask they hide behind and loved all unconditionally. His presence was divine, literally, divine.
A couple of questions / observations arose for me:
1) Was I seeing myself through his eyes as, a `positive` reflection - we are so used to finding the shadow side in our experience of the other.
2) Did his vision of a `higher me` contain an expectation I then lived up to?
Answers of a postcard please.
I first heard of Misha nearly 40 years ago and it was 37 years later I first spoke to him. I had been talking homoeopathy with one of his students and had contacted the School to ask for a curriculum to ensure I was in accordance with their syllabus. He called me back and we spoke for an hour and a half - this is a great honour to a `newbie` homoeopath -
a legend speaking to `little ole` me!!!!
At the end of the call I was invited to become a tutor on the Schools distance learning course - W.O.W.
Of course I accepted in honour and with delight and am still honoured and delighted to be in that role all these years later. So much followed, from teaching in Yondercott, to holding seminars in all sorts of places, meeting the most wonderful, fascinating, interesting people attending, some of whom are dear friends and colleagues to this day.
I was struck at how gracefully he had `interviewed me`
I met him in his Hampstead home a year or so later and then experienced his innate Grace. When he spoke with me it was as if there was no one else in the world and to him, I was special.
He was Presence personified.
Misha, it is only now in fully focussing on you can I see, and give the deepest heartfelt thanks, for your role in my life.
You lived and loved fully and have set a high benchmark in unleashing your inner divinity on those whom you meet.
I say farewell, thank you and each time I am truly myself with another
it is all because you modelled the way.
Thank you Misha
Rest in Peace
Zen Healing Retreat
Zen Healing Retreat
6th January 2022
Dear Friend
Playing in the snow. Nothing quite like making a snow-man,
creating ourselves in another medium, perhaps.
These post-festive times when the world is slowly gaining traction to
return to where it was can be rather calm and special.
Beyond the hype of consumerism:
Into the hope of rebirth it offers a time to really consider
how to be in the moment.
A willingness to Trust the Divine and allow the Tao to flow.
What and where are my resistances?
What and where are yours?
Join me on the adventure of self discovery
only then can we dissolve the blocks we have created
to defend us against the vulnerability of love.
And Be Love
Zen Healing Retreat
Zen Healing Retreat
4th January 2022
Dear Friend
The silence of snow falling....
During the night 5 inches of snow fell transforming the world.
Blanketed in snow the world is white, pure, magical it exudes an innocence which is, perhaps, why it is so attractive to people.
I went for a short walk this morning which ended up being a longer walk
as the altered view of the world on my walk drew me
onward, ever onward.
It became resistance walking either very slow and cautious where the snow plough had cleared a smooth treacherous path: or through thick snow either dragging each leg through the snow or lifting each knee high to get over it...certainly elevated the heart rate, and breathing speed.
It was wonderful to go slowly, to be slow enough to really see the details, each flake, the white icy topping to each twig, branch and tree.
The the soft pure vista when I stopped watching the feet to take in the landscape. It reminded me of what I am doing on this Zen Healing Retreat.
By focussing on the details the vista transforms itself.
A snowy scene depends on each flake.
Each thought builds up to each word, each word builds into a sentence,
each sentence grows into an intention and thus into action.
May all our thoughts be as snowflakes - pure.
Wish me luck!
Zen Healing Retreat
Zen Healing Retreat
3rd January 2022
Dear Friend
I have had an epiphany and as such am feeling liberated!
Are you sitting comfortably, then I shall begin.....
When I began this Zen Healing Retreat I could barely walk the length of myself - as the saying goes.
By going out two or three times daily this became easier, I went further until one day the little voice within began to wonder exactly how far I
was walking.
Before I knew it a pedometer app had been downloaded onto my mobile phone so now I knew how far I had walked, how long it took and how many calories had been used..
I became competitive, pushing myself to go further, faster . I began to dread going for a walk, had I the time to do the miles I thought I aught to do?
Why were there no photo`s to show on this blog?
Stressful indeed.
I had started the year intending to walk 1,00 miles in the year.
New Years day was fine, I walked the required three miles for the day.
Yesterday, however, the heavens opened and I got drowned during my first walk. The rain continued unabated, to walk in winter in cold and rain has a hint of masochism yet the guilt I experienced was all consuming.
Utterly insane.
I realised my ego had grabbed and sabotaged me through my walking. What had begun as mindful surrender to nature had become a competition with myself -- the definition of insanity...to make oneself miserable....
With joy I deleted the app, have enjoyed two walks today, slowly and mindfully and have been able to take photos again as I am now seeing.
It highlighted, for me, the insidiousness of the ego and how easy it is to wander into its path.
Liberation from myself!!